::Baby Boys::

I spent today taking out all of Jonathon's baby items that I kept for the next one and it brought me to tears! They were tears of happiness and sadness. Happiness cause my new little one is going to be wearing all the stuff Jonathon wore and then sad because time has just flown by and my little one is no longer a little one. I cant believe he is going to start school when Anthony is 8 months. I just think its mind blowing that such a small thing can grow up to be so big and so smart in such a small amount of time. 


Next week is my next check up and finally another sonogram. I can't wait to see this little munchkin again! Its been almost 4 1/2 months since my last time I saw him. My lack of sleep is also catching up with me and I am becoming such a grumpy person. I dont like it cause I snap at Jonathon and I feel bad. I'm easily annoyed by anything and him running around yelling and throwing everything in sight has got me on the edge of a breakdown.


I think we are all ready for Anthony to come out, especially me! Others say that this pregnancy flew by but for me it felt like forever at times! Especially, when I got super sick and literally wanted to die. Sunday marks 34 weeks meaning I only have 5 weeks left for sure it could be less. And the fact that I have an event every Saturday until New Years means that time will only be on hyper speed! By the time I know it its going to be time. 


Im really dreading the recovery of the surgery. Last time around the first few days were horrible. I was so sick and in so much pain I felt like a horrible mother cause I couldnt even feed my own child. I hope since my body has already been through it once it wont be as hard this time. Im still debating whether I want to stay with my mom or in laws or just stay home when I get out. The only thing is that I will most likely be alone anywhere I go so its going to be hard. I just hope Rick can get some time off that first week to help me. 


If you've never experienced a C-Section, then you have no idea what I am talking about. It feels like your insides are going to rip apart with every movement you make. Its no walk in the park and as much as I tried to do a VBAC it didn't work. 


Well, as I sit and wait for this little peanut to make his presence I will enjoy Jonathon as much as I can and remind him that mommy loves him and always will. 


<3 Crystal <3